‘Ooo-ar, Jim lad, oy got just the EU job for you. ‘Ow’s ye takin’ a fancy to being the EU’s ‘pirate cultural adviser’, there be a pot-o-gold in it fer ye, there alus is with anything to do with the EU. So, put on yer eye patch, perch ye parrot, swash yer buckle and get yer application in!’
Yes, belief it or not the EU is looking for a ‘pirate cultural adviser’ whose roll it will be to help naval commanders understand the ways of those who attack and hijack shipping along the coast of Africa and the Indian Ocean.
The person selected for the job will be expected to report on such things as the religious practises of pirates, also their habit of chewing an amphetamine plant substance known as ghat.
Sadly, Errol Flynn need not apply; this job is strictly for a person with a military background and a knowledge of how pirates operate. The task that will be set for the successful applicant will be an important one as piracy in certain parts of the world is a major problem costing ship owners and related businesses a lot of money. Applications will have to be sent to the EU's fledgling navy, 'EU Navfor'.
The problem of piracy is a global problem which affects shipping from all parts of the world. It also gives the EU the perfect excuse to create its own naval force which includes British warships (the few remaining) and British naval officers and lower ranks who all sail under the EU’s noose of gold starts. In reality a problem like this needs to be discussed and dealt with by all nations affected equally with advisers and specialist on piracy from those nation to come together to advise, all using their own knowledge and experience collectively, unlike the EU solution to go for the narrow EU identity promotional solution.
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